The Fire Pig Diary for November 2015

Every little bit helps.
A powerful day: Metal Horse, five Dong Gong Stars, suitable for Water placement. I’m a Dragon, particularly stretched this year and the Pig month promises relief, but today is a Horse day and the Horse is above all about visibility; such a day often concerns acknowledgement. Dragons – the most egotistical of the Chinese Zodiac – can be poor at this.
The guy on the till at the Co-op till is telling me that all transport should be nationalised. As ever I’m there for milk and dog food but it’s nice to shoot the breeze. Only last week he shared with me his recipe for vanilla cheesecake; Mary Berry, eat your heart out. Now he tells me, he’s churning his own butter.
I’ve been a devoted Co-Op shopper ever since a Tesco Metro opened only yards away – just along the road from the fishmongers’ and the wine shop. In a packed field as you will know, Tesco are among the most corrupt companies and indeed worst employers on Earth: they bully suppliers, encourage near-slavery and fiddle their books to present bigger profits to their shareholders.  And anyway the Co-Op gives me money-off vouchers.
There are those who reckon that new-age healers should remain ignorant of that sort of topical information as all news is bad news. After a lifetime of hugging trees and trusting the Goddess, I have concluded that mastering the facts is not negative. Only by knowing it will we change the world.
“Yup, in the words of Burt Bacharach” I respond to his proposal, “Trains and Boats and Planes””.
He nods agreeably but I realise I have made a cardinal error: those are not Burt Bacharach’s words. Bacharach wrote the melodies to “Anyone who had a heart”, “Do you know the way to San Jose”, “I just don’t know what to do with myself,” and a couple of dozen other classics (including the above paean to public transport) but Hal David wrote the lyrics. Credit where it’s due. As Mrs Ira Gershwin once remarked: “George wrote ‘duh-duh-duh;’ my husband wrote ‘Summertime’”.
Fortunately the guy behind the counter is no 60’s music anorak and I make off with my (goat’s) milk and budget animal food without being rumbled. Once in the car I look at my ipad; these things are as addictive as smack, not that I’ve tried opiates other than under medical supervision. But ipads are so handy.
Alexandra has responded to my email asking how things are going. Alex’s husband is a seven-figure-bonus banker. With a heart – which my research indicates is an unusual combination; I may be the only feng shui man who can tell you the precise orientation of Goldman Sachs’ unmarked office on Fleet Street. And I may not be. Which is more worrying.
Several years ago he, Alex’s partner, was on the wrong end of a deal that went sour and they had to sell their house, put the equity that was not needed onto deposit and rent; at a rental that would make your eyes water. She loves the rented house. He says they need to get back on the ladder but she hasn’t located a home that compares with the one they’re in. I must have inspected close to a dozen houses for them so far and she has a point.  But last month there was one that was kind of alright. And he’s putting his foot down.
So we agree it’s time for some mumbo-jumbo.
Reaching for my little pink book of formulae, I prescribe two auspicious days: one to flood the Water Star and another to install GrandMaster Raymond Lo’s formula for Five Ghosts Bring the Money to the House. And Bingo; next door is on the market. A bit pricey but we’ll see.

Dragon Dance.
I am invited by Tracey, my daughter-in-law ,who is a miraculous healer and incidentally a genius drama teacher, to her half-term show. Between Monday and Friday she and the kids in her charge, have as usual devised, cast and rehearsed an entire playlet. Over the years she has included in her teaching, kids with A.D.D, with M.E, in gender transition and with a variety of the difficulties that have parents throwing up their hands in defeat. Many have been excluded from school, some with threatening behaviour. And many are regular talented kids. All love Tracey. Many emerge as fine performers, writers, dancers and so on.
As if in proof of her commitment, the current show includes her son, my grandson Mr Levi. I am greeted by him at the door, dressed in a garish outfit – him not me – as a pig called Geoff.
“A name of your choice?” I ask him. He is nine years old.
He nods and outlines how he has insisted on a little expositional dialogue. I remind him that he comes from a long line of hams and congratulate him on observing the three cardinal rules of stardom:
1. Accept only named roles.
2. Build up your part by whatever means necessary
3. Wear silver lamé.
He is as you might guess an ostentatious Rooster. His mother is a 1964 Wood Dragon.
There are some good gags in the show which appears to be related to Game of Thrones. But not very much. There are some talented kids here. And Geoff the talking Pig is if not a standout, an arresting curiosity.
Tracey, like all Dragons, is acquainted with darkness; the trap of the Wood variety (1964) is of disappearing. The Dragon can waste years in shadow. The solution is generally healing or teaching. Often we return from darkness with a great deal to impart. On the other hand, a typical alternative is what I call middle-class angst: “Why do we only have one SUV?” “Aren’t there other colours than green for welly boots?” “Just the three holidays, this year, darling?” Watch for these enquiries of despair. So often they speak of a lost Dragon. So many kids owe so much to the fact that this one has her attention out.

Where to do what, when and why.
Abundance encompasses a great deal more than literal wealth of course but the North East is the wealth spot this month; be there, work there, keep it busy. If you can’t do any of these things and your building doesn’t open North East, you can simply and effectively face NE. This works best for members of the West Group (ask); East Group can, if they choose substitute North for North East and wealth for other forms of abundance.

Pig Pillars; know your Pig rating.
Birth in the Pig hour (21:00pm-23:00pm): laconic kids.
Birth in the Pig month (November*): varied work.
Birth on the Pig day#: economical with words.
Birth in the Pig year: possible boundary issues.
* Caution, the Chinese month generally starts and finishes a few days after ours.
# Just ask.

Cost for the day: £125
Early Bird: £85 – paid in full by November 21^st.
Places are of course limited.

Richard’s Ba Zi Training starts the weekend of 16/17th January

For both events please email: sheila@imperialfengshui.info

Taylor Light Creates
Anna Taylor is a wise, powerful and benevolent woman. I commend her events to you if you live in a GU postcode. Or further out if you’re adventurous.